12 Step: Just a Thought…

The time will come.

At about ninety days of sobriety, after I had realized that I “wanted to stop” vs. “had to stop,” I began to worry that I might not be able to. I remember the day, time, and place. I remember who was there and what was said (1981). They also told me that the day would come for me, as it does for everyone, that the only thing standing between me and relapse would be my Higher Power. It scared the crap out of me. I did not have one, not really. Furthermore, I had decided long before that day that the only Higher Power I knew about already had his chosen people, and I was most certainly NOT one of them. It was an authentic dilemma for me.

I now know this day was a turning point for the rest of my life; maybe even more so than the day I took the first step because this was the day I decided to start choosing daily, in all things big and small; a fork in the road. I had chosen to stop initially, “to try.” This day I decided to stay stopped -with a higher power that I now had to find.

“Keep coming back; you will be contacted.” -I was.
“The day will come when the only thing standing between you and relapse will be your Higher Power.” -It did (at about nine months – my next turning point)